#ADHD The Invisible Disability

The other night I was at a speaker event for writers. In conversation with the fellow writer next to me, I described how I hoped my middle school book about a boy with ADHD would help to create empathy in the mind of readers who might not understand what it’s like to have it. Without hesitation, she scowled and commented that it was terrible so many people medicated their children. She only let her children watch fifteen minutes of TV and she was sure that if parents stopped letting their kids watch hours of TV and not eat so much sugar that their behavior would not need to be medicated.
My heart sank. Wow.
In a kind tone, I explained that while loads of TV and sugar aren’t good for anyone, it’s not what causes ADHD (symptoms of, perhaps, in any child) and that the serious decision to medicate one’s child is not usually made as an antidote to lazy parenting. That medication, although not right for everyone, is often life changing. And I gently explained that her perception of facts was due largely to the influence of the media which causes many distraught parents to be judged unfairly.
She brightened up and reflected that when she tried to nurse her newborn, he never latched on and after eight painful weeks, she relented and bottle-fed him. And that she was met with judging stares and even comments about the benefits of breastfeeding from others.
Yeah, it’s kind of like that.
Can anyone imagine judging a parent if the child was diabetic or blind? No way.
How about judging the parent of a child born with a disability? Heck no! What about a disability that causes so much impairment the child needs special accommodations in school? Or an impairment so severe that sometimes the child is unable to accomplish even the simplest things you and I take for granted. A condition so off-putting that the child is shunned by other kids.
Who would judge that parent?
That parent has a kid with ADHD. And plenty of people judge her.
Do we need to be able to see that disability, like we see a diabetic’s insulin meter or a blind person’s guide-dog, not to judge the parent?
Walk a mile, people. Walk a mile. We’re all doing the best we can. Really.